I created this blog, because I wanted someplace to share about our family outside of Abigail’s CaringBridge. A place where I could write about our ‘every day’ stuff, not just the medical, factual things.
Of course, this blog was intended to include Abigail, but I wanted to focus more on the day-to-day, happy, family times we have… just life as we know it.
I never knew that I would have this baby, these complications… and now this blog has become more about me and baby than anything else. I guess I need this blog… this place to express how I am feeling, to praise God in the midst of the storm. I hope to continue to include updates about my entire family here as well. Please bear with me, as I try to balance the ‘every day’ kind of updates, with the more medical/factual kind of updates about me and baby.
So, to get the medical stuff out of the way…
I spoke to the head nurse at the clinic where I will be having my OB appointments. It is a Maternal-Fetal Medicine clinic designed for women and baby’s with high risks.
The head nurse was a very kind and understanding woman. She told me some things I’ve been wondering about.
- I will be seeing a doctor every 2-4 weeks (and probably every week at the end) and each visit will include an ultrasound and possibly blood work.
- They will be closely monitoring baby (and me) throughout the entire pregnancy and will be doing their best to track baby’s progress/medical condition, etc.
- Their hope is that we will better understand the outcome of this pregnancy with each ultrasound/appointment we have.
- We will be preparing a detailed birth plan, outlining exactly what type of life-saving measure we do or do not want done with baby, discuss the possibility of me needing a c-section/whether or not we would go that route, what type of pain relief I may or may not want, etc.
- A lot will need to be prayed and thought about… and things may change at each appointment as we know more with each ultrasound. I do believe the next few months will include a lot of difficult decisions.
Please keep us in prayer!
The head nurse said that I have 6 doctors to choose from and once I make my choice, that doctor will be the one to deliver baby -if at all possible- so that we don’t have a stranger delivering baby. I am thankful for that!
When she asked which doctor I would like to see first, I told her that I don’t know any of the doctors, but I am hoping to get a doctor who is a Christian and who will support our decision to carry baby until God chooses otherwise (instead of abort)… she then chose for me to meet with a Dr. W for my first appointment. It is a man (I have always chosen women doctors, if possible) and I pray that he is the type of doctor we need… if we don’t feel like he is the doctor for us, then we can see another doctor at our next appointment and see a different doctor at each appointment until we find the one right for us.
She also said that they have a special team of nurses in Labor & Delivery who are there for these sort of circumstances (possible stillbirth or baby dying shortly after birth) and that most of them chose to work there because they themselves have lost a baby.
It really sounds like the doctors and nurses… and the hospital as a whole will work very hard to make this experience as special as possible. I never knew there were special doctors and nurses just for these sort of things.. I am both thankful for them and saddened that there even has to be things like this.
So, we will be very busy in the weeks/months ahead.
Marcus has hernia surgery on February the 2nd (outpatient/day surgery). I have my appointment/ultrasound on February 9th. Abigail has
I have my appointment/ultrasound on February 9th. Abigail has
Abigail has a MRI (of her brain/spine) and check up with her mito doctor on March 2nd.
I may have another appointment in between there.
Also, our house is set to go up to auction on March 4th (after 2 years of trying to negotiate a short sale or modify with our bank)… we have no idea how soon after the auction we will need to move or where we will be moving to.
Our van and jeep both broke down recently (the jeep is still in the shop) and needed some pretty extensive work done on them, which drained all of the money we had been saving for our move (rent, moving truck, etc.)… so we are feeling a little overwhelmed right now…. to say the least.
I had started packing some of my decorations and things the week before we found out about baby, but haven’t done anything more since. And, the thing is, we really don’t know for sure if we will be moving until after the auction. So, I don’t want to pack up everything, only to find out the bank is suddenly willing to work out a solution. And, that is why we haven’t lined up a place to rent yet, either. Which means, after the auction we may have only a couple of weeks to pack, find a rental, and move. And… in the midst of everything else that’s going on!
And, that is why we haven’t lined up a place to rent yet, either. Which means, after the auction we may have only a couple of weeks to pack, find a rental, and move. And… in the midst of everything else that’s going on!
God is sure trying to teach us about trusting in Him, having patience, and taking one day at a time! “…just a closer walk with thee!” Every day, every trial just brings us closer to our Lord… both in the sense that it brings us closer to the day we go to Heaven, and also in the sense that we simply grow closer to Him while still here on earth. Without Him… well… I don’t want to think about how I would be feeling-acting-thinking without Him… my always present Savior!
Without Him… well… I don’t want to think about how I would be feeling-acting-thinking without Him… my always present Savior!
So… on to the “every day” sort of things. After a rough start to the week… I got my rear in gear and jumped back into our usual routine.
Josiah and I did school yesterday and today. I’ve been doing laundry, some cleaning, caring for children (of course), and plan to make salmon for supper tonight. I’m trying to keep up on the everyday things that need to be done… I feel better doing it, too.
We still talk about baby and the pregnancy a lot… baby is part of our life, whether it takes a breath on earth or not. It is very much loved. It is very much wanted. I am thankful for each day with baby. And we thank God for giving us baby!
The kids are all getting over a nasty virus. Marcus is still running a fever, but the other kids are just having coughs. Abigail seems to be doing good (thanks be to God!).
My cell phone had died on me a few weeks ago and yesterday Joey went to see if he could get me a new cheap phone. It turns out I was due for an upgrade and so with a contract renewal, I got a smartphone for free! I’m both excited and nervous about owning a fancy, touch screen, high tech sort of device! :O)
Joey has been working all week and will probably have a lot of work in the weeks ahead (which is both stressful and a blessing!).
We are truly blessed! And I thank God every day for His Son Jesus Christ… for His grace, mercy, peace, and hope! He reminds me every day Who He is.
Romans 5:1-8
1Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ:
2By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.
3And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;
4And patience, experience; and experience, hope:
5And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.
6For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly.
7For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die.
8But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Anonymous says
Yet again,a beautiful post!! It is so hard to understand they WHY of it all but we DO KNOW that God knows!!It seems to me that when I look at your life from my fleshly point I am completly confused but through Christ I KNOW it is ALL for HIS HONOR and GLORY!!As you walk this walk ,I walk it with you..I am thankful you are able to share on here..it helps me too!! I love you and ALL your family dearly and I am always praying!! Also I am here for ANYTHING you may need or want!! GOD'S PEACE continue to be with you each moment!! Love~Elisa
Kulla Klan says
It sounds like you really are going through alot! It's so good when you can give it all to God!! My sister, Charity, had Dr. Winkler with her last few pregnancies and really liked him.
Anonymous says
God's way is the best way, Tho' I may not see…Why sorrows and trials Oft gather round me; He ever is seeking My gold to refine, So humbly I trust Him, My Saviour divine! God's way is the best way, God's way is the right way, I'll trust in Him alway, He knoweth the best!
God's way is the best way, My path He hath plann'd, I'll trust in Him alway While holding His hand, In shadow or sunshine He ever is near, With Him for my refuge, I never need fear………
God's way shall be my way, He knoweth the best. And leaning upon Him, Sweet, sweet is my rest; No harm can befall me. Safe, safe shall I be, I'll cling to Him ever, So precious is He!!!
And another hymn…..
The love of God is greater far Than tongue or pen can ever tell; It goes beyond the highest star And reaches to the lowest hell; The guilty pair, bowed down with care, God gave His Son to win: His erring chld He reconciled And pardoned from his sin. O love of God, how rich and pure! How measureless and strong! It shall forever more endure…The saints' and angels' song……………
"Hold Me Closer Lord"
Author: Jennie Aho 10-2-07
1)I can feel His presence in this place, And angels wings softly caress my face, Your peace and love surround my heart, and I'm at rest for I'm held tightly at my Saviours breast!
Chorus: Hold me closer Lord, I need You even now! Pour Your grace, Your Spirit as I bow, Winds may blow and toss me around, but then You'll gather me into Your arms again!
2)Lead me on dear Saviour, day by day as Your mercies each morning fill my way, You have plans for me much greater than I know, but carry me, I need You ever so!
What precious words Jennie wrote….she had no idea that these were such fitting words for so many occasions….first to comfort me after your mother died….then sung so preciously at Sue's and my wedding….and many times Sue and I have thought of this song and had to play it again and again….what comforting words!! May they bring you also closer to He who will carry us through every trial along the way.
We love you Clarissa, Joey, Josiah, Abagail Rose, Hadassah, Marcus and 'angel baby'….May God bless each of you today and forever. Love, Dad
Kristi says
You and your family will be in our prayers!!
"Then call on me when you are in trouble,
and I will rescue you,
and you will give me glory."
Psalm 50:15
Anonymous says
I read your blog yesterday, but I didn't know what I could say…you had already covered it all =) We are keeping you in prayer each day, many times a day! God bless & keep you! Love~ Mindy
Ronda says
Sounds like you found a place that has the awesome care for you as I have here!! Sweet! That's great!!