With my recent homesteading research, I was comparing words that I had heard (and used) all of my life but couldn’t remember reading their (proper) definitions in the dictionary. You see, I was on the hunt for the “perfect” name for our future family farm.
I found myself on a rabbit trail following words like farm, homestead, farmstead, housewife, and so on. And it got me thinking.
I use both the words housewife and homemaker to describe myself and think of them differently. I wasn’t sure if I was using them how they were originally intended to be used, so I studied further.
First, let’s look at what I mean by the words housewife and homemaker.
To me, housewife equals a married woman who stays home rather than work outside of the home. Her first job/work IS to manage her household. In addition to being a devoted wife who strives to be a godly wife, she seeks to be a wise steward of her household. This may look different in every marriage. Housewifery is a duty.
I think of a homemaker as someone who desires to make her house a home for her family, whether she works outside of the home or not. She feels it is her responsibility to create a warm & secure atmosphere for her husband and children. She wants to keep it clean, of course… but more importantly, she wants to keep it comfortable and welcoming. Homemaking is a calling.
So, Housewife or Homemaker: Which Am I?
I feel strongly about both roles. To be honest, I am probably better at being a housewife than being a homemaker. I am fiercely devoted to my husband (and children), but not as gentle and warm as I’d like to be (as I should be!).
I can manage our finances, supplement our income, write up budgets, source the cheapest healthy foods, stick to a routine, give & enforce chores and so on. I can even organize and purge our home frequently (and enjoy doing it), but, I struggle to keep our home homey, relaxed, and peaceful.
My mom was so wonderful at being a homemaker. She definitely made our house a home that was filled with love, laughter, and living!
I know I am probably overly critical of myself, but I constantly feel like I am falling short of the expectations I made for myself. I want my kids to have (and feel) what I did.
What I still do, when I remember my childhood. Our home was the most comforting, comfortable, and secure place of my childhood.
I can only hope that my children will grow up and remember our home as a warm, comfortable, and a safe haven (please, Lord, let is be so). Like I said, perhaps I am overthinking it since I feel the weight of the responsibility on my shoulders.
Anyway, back to the purpose of this post. I wanted to share the definitions of the words housewife and homemaker.
HOUSEWIFE, noun hous’wife. The mistress of a family.
1. A female economist; a good manager.
2. One skilled in female business.
(alternately, Dictionary.com has this to say about the word housewife: “Sometimes Offensive. a married woman who manages her own household, especially as her principal occupation.”)
I thought this gave further understanding of her role: HOUSEWIFERY, noun hous’wifery. The business of the mistress of a family; female business in the economy of a family; female management of domestic concerns.
Interestingly, the word homemaker is not in Webster’s 1828 Dictionary. But, I found it on Dictionary.com.
1. a person who manages the household of his or her own family, especially as a principal occupation.
So, they are defined as essentially the same thing, but in modern times, the word housewife has somehow become offensive and so they replaced it with the word homemaker and made it gender-neutral.
I still feel that a homemaker (aka maker of the home), can be defined as someone who literally makes the house a home. Regardless, I consider either term an honor, privilege, responsibility, role, and occupation that I entered into the day I said my marriage vows.
What does the Bible say about a housewife or homemaker?
“The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” Titus 2:3-5
I also believe the description of the “Proverbs 31 Woman” encompasses both a housewife and a homemaker. The duties & expectations of the housewife and the calling & qualities of the homemaker.
In the future, I plan to share more of my study of Chapter 31 of Proverbs as it pertains to both the housewife and homemaker. I have been amazed at the change that has taken place within my own heart as I’ve sought to learn more about this woman of virtue!
Final Thoughts
Every (married) woman should strive to be a devoted and godly housewife and homemaker. This does not take an extra smart, educated, or especially talented woman – just one who desires to be the woman God wants her to be and does her best with what she’s been given.
(A smart, educated, & talented woman is not above the position of housewife and homemaker.)
Every adult woman who is married is capable of these attributes. The Bible says to ask for wisdom and it will be given, so I believe that every woman will grow into the wise housewife and discerning homemaker God desires of her.
It is often a painful (and slow) growing process, as I can testify to, but so worth it. I’m on a life-long journey as a wife, mother, woman, and child of God.
I am being refined in the fire, molded by God’s hand. Sharing my thoughts “out loud” through my writing is my way of thinking through and absorbing what I learn.
Please share your thoughts on the matter with me!
Elisa says
LOVE!! <3
qamar says
Wow nice post i really like it very much every human can share this post.
Gina L Moore says
This may sound weird but now that my children are older n out the house I feel my inner homemaker ready to come alive
Paul says
My mother raised seven kids, back in the 1960’s. She didn’t have time for a title…. Housewife vs Homemaker, we obviously have too much time on our hands.
Christina Black says
I use both terms, to be honest it depends who I talk to and the vibes around them and if they ask me I would say homemaker espseically to full time working women who has strong opinons about certain things when i say homemaker they seem more relax and cool about it, when i say housewife they seem shocked. Now when I talk to older or men they seem to be more open minded to both terms…
Anyways I like your page and how you explain those.
Kindred Spirit says
Thank you for your bravery in sharing this with us. Your understanding of the application in the Bible is interestingly enough paralleled in many texts. People need to apply context to communications with differing audiences and this variety or nuance both empowers us in our ecosystem but so too limits us. Growing gracefully away from boredom is better for our brains and the bravery of sharing your side of things here is awesome so my thanks to you
Olivia says
That was beautiful. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. 🙂
Tracie Smith says
I wish someone had told me this years ago. I would have seen being a homemaker and housewife a lot differently. More positively.